After enduring another snow storm (seriously, if I see more of that white stuff I’m going to gouge my eyes out), a week and a half of not seeing the dear boyfriend, and a stressful school week; I’m beginning to see the light.
Here’s a quick checklist why I’m beaming right now:
- No more snow. Check. No. Seriously. Not another inch. I mean it.
- Quality time with him. Finally. Check.
- 98% in my Networking Class. CHECK.
Of course, I had to become a hermit for a day, then proceed to go insane over my college path. I swear, the more time I spend in my head the more I start to scare myself. It’s not a nice place to be once it’s been deprived of human interaction. Let me rephrase that, desired human interaction. My ‘rents and my brother just aren’t cutting it. To be honest, I don’t think we even saw each other that day until dinner…
Anyway, once I became desperately bored, I started to look ahead at my future as an educator. Staring into my computer screen at three in the morning, overwhelmed by the possibility that I don’t know what I’m getting myself into. Frozen by the fear that I would repeat history. I began to calculate, plan, and process; like I always do. I had all the dots, but was unsure where to draw the lines. I’m doing something I obviously enjoy, I have a clear idea of what I want to become; it’s everything in between that frightens me. It’s the uncertainty of my journey into uncharted waters. I’m the one to plot a true course; steering clear of any potential failure.
There was one thing I had to accept before I could even put this plan in action:
There is nothing wrong with starting over.
That’s what I’m doing. With everything. School, friends, relationship, career, family. Everything I didn’t have the chance to experience, I will. Everything I felt was wrong, will become right.
Sometimes to end is to being again.