After living in the false state of Pride, it was time for me to return to the land of Reality.
I credit one man for steadily demolishing my walls. Tearing it down brick by boring brick.
He is my best-friend. He is also my boyfriend.
I had a revelation that I should be comfortable confronting him when need be. As my boyfriend, he should be the first to know when I am upset and why. I need to become completely at ease telling him when I am upset. Instead, I run my thoughts by other people to determine the validity of my concern. In plain-speak, am I crazy? That’s something I need to work on.
Even though I may get crazy, that isn’t a cause for separation. I don’t mistreat him, I just don’t say anything. Which hurts, but not as much as me being a dick to him. There’s my redemption. That I’m not as bad I as I make myself out to be.
I have realized that I need to try harder to attain this state of balance. To rely on myself and not let the approval of others dictate my happiness. To regain and maintain stability in my friendships. To not fall into my old ways of silent neglect.
Of being absent in the present.